turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
