They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
