I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I supernannyed him into submission
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