I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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