Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
