How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
