i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
