My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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