Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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