she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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