butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
