This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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