I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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