This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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