I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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