11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize