went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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