Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
They have beer where we have blood.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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