I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
