I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
