You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
