Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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