I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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