Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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