He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think your dad took our porno
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
