Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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