I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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