I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
