i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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