Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
