Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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