Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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