Got a toothbrush?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
