i need an iv and a liver transplant
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
