This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
