I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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