I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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