I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize