happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize