She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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