I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
