Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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