We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize