he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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