Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
