And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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