Heybabeimwearingurpanties
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
