bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
