I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
