apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
