24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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