He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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