Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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