Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
