We won't sleep together?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
