Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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