oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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