i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
