i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
